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What’s the secret to a long and happy marriage?

Elderly married couple at Foxholes Care Home in Hertfordshire
Whether you’re totally smitten, in a long-term, loving marriage, or living the single life, you’ve probably pondered about what it means to be happily married.

Well, there’s no better place to look for advice than a couple who have seen and been through it all. Look no further; Alan, 87 and Jean, 83 who live with us at Foxholes, have been happily married for a wonderful 64 years, and have a romantic story to tell.

Since we’ve just celebrated Valentine’s Day, we thought it was the perfect time to ask our special couple about just how they’ve survived 64 years of marriage – and happily, too.


The most romantic love story

We had the pleasure of asking Alan and Jean about how their relationship started – and in Alan’s words:

“Dating? Very good. We used to meet each other – I used to pick Jean up, and take her home at night. When I took her home on Saturday nights, we’d come out of the dance at midnight and I’d walk Jean home. There’d be lots of people about those days. I’d drop her home, and then walk all the way to where I lived, which was quite a way”.

“We used to go to London quite a lot, and we loved seeing the stars at the London Palladium. We’ve been around, and been abroad to quite a lot of places.

“We knew we were in love quite early. When we started courting, we knew we wanted each other. And I’ve loved her ever since. We’ve had our ups and downs – who wouldn’t? But we’ve never flown off the handle at each other; never fallen out. We always stuck by each other, wherever we went”.


The secret to a long and happy marriage

In Alan’s own words: “Really, it’s hard to explain. But if you love each other, you stand by each other. 

“I look after Jean. I’ve been Jean’s carer now for 4 years, since she hasn’t been well. I’ve loved looking after her, and I will still look after her as much as I can.

“It’s something you do. You can’t break a habit of a lifetime”.



And with that in mind, Jean’s favourite thing about Alan is that he’s always kind to her.

Love advice for the younger generations
For a long and happy marriage, Alan advises young people in relationships to “stand by each other, look after each other and be together.

“Love each other. Do everything you can together, because you’re only together at certain times.

“Meet with your loved one as much as you can. Jean and I were always together; we went everywhere together”.

At Foxholes Care Home, we love hearing our residents’ stories. To find out more about our care, please click here.

What’s your secret to a long and happy relationship? We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences; you can contact us here.